Hi, I’m Ella Banana! This is my story!
Hi, I’m Ella Banana! This is my story!
Life’s adventures and misadventures…
Life is a crazy-long, complicated mix of adventures and misadventures. Of joys, struggles, trials and fiascos. From time to time, you’ll get to experience peaks of happiness and valleys of sadness. It’s actually like a roller-coaster ride. There are lots of ups and downs, highs and lows, twists and turns. And it is fun, uncannily striking and exhilarating. Mine is definitely alike.
I was once a lost soul, who had no sense of direction in life, too confused to choose which path to take in order for me to have a better life, who made countless shits and who was so lost—like a lost explorer in the jungle of uncertainty—during the past few years of my life. Even if I seemed to be doing just fine during my student years, my spirit later on became a prisoner of my own comfort zone, the routine of daily life, and the game of “should” and “shouldn’t.” I spent years and years forcing myself in doing things that are against my heart, pretending that I’m happy—though admittedly, there were moments I felt happy—but beyond doubt I never reached that certain level of true happiness I’ve been wanting to achieve. In the belief that doing these things will change my life—holistically speaking—I let myself get drowned. Wretched. Rejected. Sheepish. Confused. Lost. Disheartened. I have found myself habitually making quick decisions, which led me to nowhere near fulfilling. I once failed. And then again. And again. And yet . . . again. I already lost count how many times I failed. I kept walking, trying to make things work, convincing myself that this was something I was supposed to do, and holding onto the belief that everything will soon fall into its perfect place. Caught in the middle between what others might think and what my heart screams, I questioned myself whether this was really what I was supposed to be doing. I grew tired, felt hopeless and empty. My bubble of patience welled up. And so I quit. I unlocked the rusty prison door and mustered the courage to walk away from apathy, as it wasn’t a healthy option anymore to keep myself jailed in a life I wasn’t happy at all. Even if I said I would never do it, no matter what, I did. Yes. Yes. YES! I QUIT! I learned to let go of things that don’t serve me well. Quitting wasn’t easy, but there comes a point in life where the cons outweigh the pros. By doing so is necessary to keep one’s sanity. I eventually started to rethink gently, and redefine my life goals conspicuously. I dug deep inside myself to find out what my true purpose is, explored the nooks and crannies of my soul, and listened to my inner voice that whispers what my heart truly desires. When I finally made the decision to walk into the path where I believe I am most likely to be happy, I felt like a giant load crushing my soul has been lifted off my half-destroyed soul. Yes, I gave up on certain areas of my life, but I never gave up on life. My vision for a better life was, is, and will be forever clearly etched in my mind, heart, and soul. From then on, I’ve made a promise to myself to continuously follow my bliss, which will take me to the life of my dreams.
Quitting proposes that the ability to quit has a place alongside persistence and optimism and that its presence is necessary as a balance to both of those characteristics. Quitting isn’t an end in and of itself. It’s the necessary first step to rebooting and redefining your goals, and what you want from life.
While I can’t really change and control the past, I know there are ways to dig myself out of the mess I am stuck in and put continuous effort to improve the present and the future. There’s no one to blame but myself—I’ve made my choices—what’s important is I am now fully aware of my past mistakes and that I am willing to make a change for the better. Every challenge is God’s way of making me grow, and I am grateful for everything—be it good or bad. At this point in my life, I am more fired up and motivated to sail in the vast sea of life and uncertainty.
There are still countless instances I suck in life, though. Sometimes problems arise; they seem insurmountable, and I just can’t figure out how to bring them under control. At times, my decisions still fail and frustrate me. But despite all of these misadventures and unfortunate events, I am truly, madly, and deeply in love with life—embracing its flaws wholeheartedly and gradually turning it into a beautiful one. It’s like loving someone despite this person’s flaws and imperfections. You embrace and accept that person no matter what—understanding that this is a significant part of creating and growing a relationship worth living . . . a life worth living.
Without a doubt, as I get older, I see myself steadily growing and becoming the person I want to be. I keep on learning and discovering something new every day, and applying it into my life the best I could. Slowly and reverently, I believe I’ll be able to transform myself into a person I can call a master of the mind, as well as the heart, and the soul.
Just like you, I won’t lose heart. I won’t let any of life’s circumstances from controlling my life, from stopping me to live a life of passion and purpose. I am ready to face what will be thrown my way next. Let’s get it on!
Travel and break free…
Ever since I was younger, I dreamed of traveling, discovering new places, meeting people from all walks of life, trying stuff I’ve never done before, and inspiring people by sharing my life adventures. For most of my younger years, though, I was totally focused on academic and co-curricular activities; hence, I wasn’t able to step out of my comfort box and have the courage to follow my heart. On those years, we also struggled a lot. Yes, a lot. Income resources were scarce, and my family earned hardly enough to support our basic needs. So, this dream of mine was set aside—postponing my dream and focusing on what’s in front of me—but the idea of experiencing life to the fullest has never been crossed out on my list. First things first, my attention was laser-focused on completing my studies and earning a degree. After I had my degree and passed the Nurse Licensure Examination, I became a Red Cross volunteer, which I absolutely enjoyed. Five months after, I got a job as a Multimedia Artist (which was, yeah, totally unrelated to my course), then lost it. Offered a job again—this time as a Marketing Officer—then just got laid-off after four months. Whilst being employed (and unemployed), I also tried other income producing activities—thinking that these ventures would finally show me the road to happiness—but sadly with no success. I realized my heart wasn’t into those facets of life, making me unhappy and wanting to break free. Battling through life’s challenges towards a dream wasn’t easy. It never was. But . . . But these circumstances made me stronger, helped me stretch and expand myself to finally grasp the door of opportunity that’s been long waiting for me. I braved myself to enter the so-called freelancing world. I am humbled to share that it once again helped to fuel and kick-start my zest for life. I started and continued pursuing all of the things I love, things I was truly passionate about. Arts. Design. Music. Sports. Photography. Film. Traveling. Everything that makes me happy—goals and dreams that make me want to jump out of bed in the morning. Jettisoning the idea of staying attached to something that creates unhappiness—emotionally draining job, bad relationships, toxic friends, and etcetera—is without a doubt one of the best decisions I have ever made in my entire life. Thanks be to God, who sent an angel into my life, a friend, a coach, a blessing I will always be grateful for.
Fortunately enough, life eventually became so much brighter and more beautiful, gradually clearing the haze, and giving way for the sun to shine brightly in my life. Soon after, I was able to experience hiking to a number of beautiful mountains and visit a few white-sand beaches and historical places. I am always in awe witnessing the beauty the world has to offer. That said, I am fairly certain I want to travel to known and unfamiliar places, and enrich myself with valuable experiences that only traveling per se can offer. Albeit the fact I have fears facing the unknown, my soul is enveloped with a strong desire to connect to the world even more deeply, create lifetime memories, meaningful and unforgettable experiences, extraordinary impact on my life and other people’s lives, and experience being alive.
Traveling is surely an effective way to uncover and discover yourself. I have proven that myself, and I know you’ll agree with that, too. It taught me so much about myself, and life; it’s through it I learned the most about my existence—my passions, purpose, limits, strengths, and weaknesses. It tremendously improved my perspective in life, broadened my horizons, and helped me create a positive view and attitude to every life situation. Having tasted the life of travel, the opportunity and freedom to do so, nothing can stop me in making my dreams a reality. Truly, traveling is like finding the major pieces of the life puzzle and giving deeper meaning to each of them. With all certainty, I am ready to embrace what lies ahead beyond the confines of the usual.
Art, Music, and Travel…
Fueled by my penchant for art, love affair with music, and passion for travel and other outdoor activities, the idea of combining these three key ingredients magically popped up. I am so excited to paint new adventures and misadventures onto the canvas of my imagination, and play the music and melodies of my heart as I discover new places, meet people who share the same interests as me, and who are hungry for change. Armed with faith and determination, I believe there are limitless possibilities to achieving my goals and dreams—big and small—and creating the life I just once imagined.
Thrilled and excited, I hope you will join me on my journey into the great unknown. Together, let’s dream bigger dreams, create meaningful goals, and live a life of value. Don’t hesitate to act now and be a significant part in contributing and making a positive difference in life and to the world.